The 12 Days of Old Stoner Stuff

I think I have heard The 12 Days of Christmas enough for one year. I am not a bah humbug kind of guy when it comes to the holidays but when seasonal music takes over the entire season of fall I just sort of get my fill by mid-December. Besides, the 12 days is supposed to start on Christmas day and work its way to the Epiphany on January 6^th. I loved to sing that song as a kid, especially while performing in a choir. We really thought it was a show stopper. I am sure that the stunned look we saw on the faces of the parents in the audience at the end of the song was not one of pleasure or pride, but sheer relief. All those squeaky high voices! All that manic energy and crazed excitement knowing that it was almost Santa’s big day!

These days I like to think of Christmas as being all about the kids. I am helping to raise a young boy and that helps to keep me sane in so many ways, but it really goes a long way in helping to make the season merry and bright. I love the shopping, the cooking, putting up the tree, all that. Seriously love to fill my partner’s stocking with good cheer. But for me, meh, I could do with about four weeks less celebration. I mean, goodness, we go from Halloween through New Year party-party-partying, a relentless pace of holiday frenzy all the way to the finish line. By the time I get the 1^st of January I am completely exhausted from the merriment, forced or not. I am not suggesting going into hibernation during that time or anything like that. I love to do costumes, make turkey, get holiday cards in the mail. No, what I am saying is that I could do with a little be less of the madness…er….merriment that marks the Christmas holidays. Hmm, maybe I just need to up my dose of tincture.

So, this year, once the big day is shopped for and the presents doled out for everyone else, I would like to start, or in this case, reboot, an old tradition. I would like to go back to that small kind of gift giving, the 12-day march towards the arrival of the three kings. I don’t want milking maids or turtle doves or drummers drumming but I think a token gift a day for that run would be a lot of fun. So, without the background swell of the song to accompany this list, here is what this old stoner would like for this coming 12 days of Christmas:

*A simple stash box with RAW rolling papers, some stainless steel screens, a blown glass spoon, a pair of Fiskar scissors, some Nag Champa incense and a box of wooden matches.

*A Trader Joe’s gift card (merrily munching along!)

*A Criterion copy of The Fantastic Mr Fox (who doesn’t like Wes Anderson?)

*A 2017 Alex Grey calendar (stonerific, 12 months of the year!)

*A bottle of Signal Ridge sparkling wine (a niche item but, hey, I am worth it!)

*The Watersons Mighty River of Song box set (gotta love those old English folk tunes!)

*The Firefly 2 vaporizer (this is pushing it, I know!)

*Two tickets to the local philharmonic (ah, to sit and groove to those classic live tunes! Bliss!)

*A stack of Shaun Tan picture books (my latest artist thrill!)

*A cheesecake from Costco (nothing say loving like commercial baked goods from the oven!)

*A six pack of Anchor Steam Christmas Ale (can you say “ahhhh!”?)

*Wool socks, a knit cap and a pair of mittens, to better honor that old Sierra Club Mountaineer ethic; “if you are cold put on a hat and warm socks”.

Yeah, that was quite the list but hey, baby Jesus, I am worth the haul!

But unlike the kid who looks under the tree and discovers there is no pony, bb rifle or trip to Disneyland, hey, just know that I am happy with what I have. A warm home, a full larder, healthy children and a happy partner are all that I can ask for. May you all be so lucky and get what you ask for as well.

And may you all have a lovely holiday and a safe and profitable new year!

Salud!