Editor, please!

Goodness, why hasn’t someone dropped me a line to tell me “how boring, Sr Mota Man! Write about something else besides looking for work, why doncha?” Okay, okay, I was caught up in that whirlpool, becalmed in the doldrums, my ship of state going round and round on the same thought. Well, I was spun right out of there last Thursday and now I am here, your faithful servant patiently awaiting the start of a new era. Here all by my lonesome and with a lot of mota to partake in.

As mentioned in my earlier missives, I was on a regular dispensary crawl there for a while, amassing mota, just in time, apparently, for the great American/North Korean Armageddon. Have you been keeping up with the news? Goodness, all that saber rattling going on and we’re not just talking about Sessions. On that note glad to read that his Special Commission didn’t give him any Special Commission ammunition to go out and turn loose the dogs of the drug war. Nope, instead we have the Great Orange Menace out there on the golf links throwing stink eye at that equally unhinged madman over there in North Korea. 

All my life I wondered if I was ever going to have use that Duck and Cover shit I learned in elementary school. Still don’t know the score on that but while I am waiting to find out I think it’s time to go down to my favorite liquor store and round up the usual suspects….a good cold bottle of sparkling Cava, a couple nice bottles of Merlot, a case of decent craft beer, a bottle of 100 percent agave, a bottle of quality calvados and a maybe a decent cigar. Oh, yes, and ice. Can’t see sitting on my deck chair, watching the end of the world go down and having to drink warm beer!

Well, if I can’t make it to the liquor store on time I can at least get into the stash I have accumulated. What a treat that will be! Fired up the batteries for the Magic Flight Launch Box. Got matches for the new bubbler. Charged up the newly acquired Pax Era pen. Have all the mota that’s fit to sample aging properly in nicely sealed glass jars and well, that’s that. Now it’s time to choose! Should I start out with a bit of tincture, just to set things up? Should I cut up a Wana Brand Blueberry treat into fours, just to get that microdose thing going? Maybe I should take a sip out of one of my Lucid Mood pens, just to see if after all this time the batteries work? Maybe I should just crumble a little bit of flower? Hell, now that that’s out of the bag, where to start? Landrace? Hybrid? Indica dominant? Sativa forward?

Maybe instead of flower I will do a bit of old school hash. Should I do it solo or sprinkle it on flower and roll it up or maybe make up a nice healthy glass spoon’s worth of bubbly joy? Maybe I’ll get out the oil syringe and make up a Cali Cannon? Maybe I’ll make up my own caviar! No time to go out and by a rig, just going to have to wing it and do it the old fashioned way, make a snake out of it and wrap it up, blunt style, with a bunch of bud in a plethora of hemp paper!

Man, too many choices, like Noah trying to pick out his favorite twins out of that zoo of his on the ark. Well, there is nothing better, in the end, to just pick an old school strain, something light and mellow like Maui Wowie or Original Cali Orange and grind down a bud, sprinkle a bit on the screen of the Launch Box and just push the button to fire it all up. At this stage, this old lightweight is good for one toke. One hitter quitter, that’s me alright!

Then, and only then, after the buzz has died down, will I get out a beer. As the saying goes, “Grass before beer, you are in the clear. Beer before grass, you are on your ass”.  Composure matters! When that fireball goes off, I don’t want to rolling around on the ground stoned out of my mind embarrassing myself!

Salud!